“Honestly, I’m trying to stay focused…”
Summer Walker, a powerhouse from Beaumont, Texas, developed a new anthem for me and probably ninety percent of the living, breathing women in this world. Walker, who has appeared in several music videos, created the tune to inform men on what women really want. As the listener, you’re sent deep into her inner thoughts on why women aren’t able to vocalize what they desire and what they deserve without the innate feeling that it could and would be used against them.
“Girls can never say they want it, girls can never say how…”
This melodic chant captivated me with its ‘90s R&B-esque lyrics and rhythm. I discovered the track on Spotify while on the train one Friday night. Listening to the song sent chills up and down my spine. I took a deep breath and envisioned myself kissing, holding and touching someone who wanted it just as bad as I did. I’ve never been so engulfed into a song that’s not only catchy but relatable.
The theme Ms. Walker sings in this tune, Girls Need Love, is one that is all too familiar. Let’s face it, ladies: if you’re a single gal, like moi, then you’ve experienced the pain and the weariness of being lonely.
Yes, cute, romantic dates and hand-holding are just fine. Sometimes we want that; but you do you know what else we want?
We want sex. We want to fuck. We want a partner to satisfy our every need.
Sadly though, girls aren’t allowed to express those desires, at least not out loud. From the moment young girls are introduced into the world, we were taught repeatedly to cover up, stay abstinent until marriage and how “our body is our temple.” Do you remember when you were younger and if you were caught playing with the boys or you developed a bit earlier than others, adults would describe you ‘fast’ or ‘loose’?
Well, it’s time we erase the narrative that a woman must be modest in order to be respected. Throughout my early twenties, and thanks to Eleanor Roosevelt, I’ve come to realize that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent. So, if I want to go out without a bra, I will. If I want to masturbate, it’ll happen. If I want to call someone up just for a one night stand, then so be it. Sometimes, we just want a sexual appointment that’ll leave us satisfied and ready to take on the day.
When was the last time you had an orgasm? When was the last time someone made you feel beautiful in the bedroom? When was the last time you had a good time, a really good time, with a sexual partner?
We’re not allowed to say. Society has shown us that sharing our sexual history will result in society labeling us as hoes, thots and whores and in not disclosing our history, we are still hoes, thot, and whores.
So where do we win?
“Girls can never say they need it, girls can never say now…”
Strong women, like Amber Rose, have shown us that women can be healthy and happy sexual beings. Thanks to Ms. Rose, we have a platform such as The SlutWalk, that not only celebrates women globally, but takes back the derogatory connotation in the word ‘slut’ and give it power, substance and dynamism.
We’ve come far but not far enough. Sex is still taboo, it can hurt or heal, and it can be the most significant yet menial decision in someone’s life.
For women, we will only have two choices between the sheets: please or be ridiculed. It’s either damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
“So what’s a girl to do, when she needs loving too?”